I've decided that I'm very annoyed by people who write incredibly sexist things regarding domestic discipline (or whatever you want to call it - I think for the purposes of this blog WWD, or What We Do, seems to sum it up best). I'm tired of reading long essays describing how best to take a woman in hand, or deal with her "feminine misbehavior" or any of that SHIT. (I didn't ask if profanity was okay ... If it's not, I'll edit it. Or take some paddle swats for it. :) I know a guy on the couch in the next room who'd be happy to oblige). Why does that attitude seem so prevalent in this "scene?" And yes ... I know there are MANY guys out there who don't take that line, but there are a lot who do. And even some women who do ...
I have this online friend that I met playing Word Riot (a game that used to be on pogo.com). We talked a lot as the game was really something to do while chatting with friends. She got a sense about me, I think, from some comments I'd made or some ways I joked with other people that I was a spanko. Finally one day she just came out and asked me and as I'm not at all ashamed about it (though I do keep it to myself in most company), I admitted it. She's a Christian (as am I) and I mentioned that I didn't feel comfortable with many of my Christian friends knowing about my kink. She explained that she feels this way of life lines up with the Word of God - that she feels like she's been a better wife and a better Christian since deciding to submit to her husband's will. This is where I completely disagreed with her. A long discussion about the Word of God as opposed to the Word of Paul ensued ...
After that conversation, I wondered what she would think of a submissive man - -one who agrees to be disciplined by his wife for things with which he feels he needs help. What would she think of the woman who held that power? I never asked. I wish now that I had.
I could never dominate or "top" or discipline a man. I think it's possible that I could with a woman (and eventually, I'd like to try), but it's not because I believe it's just the way the world is supposed to work. I don't seek out this way of life because I'm female -- it's just the way I'm wired. And very few people would believe that about me who know me from other arenas. I was the aggressive, ball-busting manager at a telemarketing company for almost five years. When we had to say what type of management style we had, I fit "Driver" to a T. I'm not meek; I look people in the eye; I have a strong handshake; I say what's on my mind; I don't back down from fights ... But in a relationship I NEED for my lover to be dominant, I need for him to help me set rules and follow them. And if I were in a same sex relationship I know for a fact I would need the same things. I don't submit to Dave because he's a man. I submit to Dave because he's my lover, and he's earned my respect, my trust, and my obedience (though he doesn't get a whole lot of the latter lately).
And I'm tired of the blogs and such out there that would have me believe I need this lifestyle simply because I'm a woman. More importantly, I'm tired of them catering to men who believe they deserve to be in charge simple because they are men.
